Tag Archives: United States

The Dysfunctional Weiner

14 Jun
Anthony Weiner at the LGBT Pride parade, New Y...

Image via Wikipedia

Long time no blog, I know.

I just couldn’t pass up discussing the latest news about Congressman Anthony Weiner.

To many, his actions seem indefensible.  To me, understanding this situation is a matter of comparison.

We’ve seen many Federal figureheads resign as a result of sex scandals.  One of the main differences with Weiner is that there is no physical sex involved in the story!

Anyone that becomes a popular media icon ends up being held to unrealistic standard of living. 

I can only imagine what it must feel like to be so Left in a governing body that is so Right Wing.

I am not using stress associated with his job as an excuse to justify Weiner’s obviously irresponsible actions- However, pleading for this man to resign and quit his job is outrageous.

What does taking pictures of yourself and sending them to women have to do with his stance on healthcare and the federal budget?

Weiner works nonstop, and never quits prematurely.  He has always been regarded by the Left as rock solid, never going astray from his political stances.

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Just a thought:

The Left is dismissing Weiner as the stain on the “blue dress” of the democratic party and calling for his resignation.

As if  the Left wasn’t already popular as being “blue dress” wearing sissies, now they are running away from defending one of their most effective spokespeople.

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I hope that Congressman Weiner does not resign, because he has a proven record of fighting for the people he represents…the penises that comprise America as we know it.

Everyone is a little bit of a dick, which is why this Congressman is America’s favorite Weiner.

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TheMiserableRanter

BREAKING NEWS: Sarah Palin gets “spudnutted” on by Cenk Ugyur

1 Feb

I was going to write a whole blog post on this new Sarah Palin moronicism (not a word, I know), but then decided that this clip pretty much says all that there needs to be said.

Now that you’ve seen this clip I’d like to add a few things that don’t need to be said.


1. Why do I feel that Sarah Palin’s career will ultimately lead her into porn?

2. Next thing you know, Palin will begin referring to the phrase Spudnutted on her face,” as Blood Libel.

and last but not least,

3.

The US Constitution Preamble:

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Sarah Palin’s Real Americans Constitution Preamble:

We the People, of the Real Americas, in order for form a more sad international image, establish deregulation of all guns, insure domestic terrorism, provide tax breaks for billionaires, generally never promote those on Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to Christians and our lobbyists, do or die and establish the largest deficit in American history because of my insane version of the Constitution of the United States of America.

All hail the comic relief of American news media/politics, Sarah Palin.

And while you’re on your knees hailing, blow me.

TheMiserableRanter

Intangible Tangerines Transmit Testicular Titty Tongue Twisters?!1!?!1

31 Jan

I ain’t dead yet bitches.  I’m back and I’m still white.

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This blog has sort of become my neglected child….

no, more like my neglected Siamese Fighting Fish.

Here’s the thing , I want to keep the posts at a certain level of readability.

When I began this blog, the writing seemed almost like a neuronal misfiring took place on the interwebs.

Unfortunately life takes its toll on the frequency of the posts, and inspiration is not always a consistent thing.

To my readers, thank you.

And keep coming back..because if you enjoy this, then you’ve clearly lost your mind long ago.

Now that the sentimentality is over, its time to return to the somewhat more meaningful part of this post.

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You actually expected meaning?  No way!

I win,

 

TheMiserableRanter

Top 10 Sex Positions- Twisted Edition. + Tokyo Breakfast (Classic)

21 Jan

This is a classic

Words to live by:  “If nigguh no go to skewel, nigguh no get a job. If nigguh no get a job, nigguh no make no munny.  If nigguh no make no munny, nigguh cannot afford B M W 7 SERIES NIGGGAAAAAHH!!!”

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“You can’t ever boost a girls confidence, they’ll find a way to screw you in the ass afterwards.”  What kind of evil genius would say such a thing?  Oh yeah, my cousin.

He went onto say “I’m sure Albert Einstein would agree with me- how do you think that loser got married? He really fucked with the girl’s head.  Either that or she was kicked in the head by a horse as a baby.”

Wow.

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A brilliant 6 year old once said-

“I PUT THE WHOLE WORLD IN MY ASS.”

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I really can’t believe how well it works, but spamming “FREE PENIS ENLARGEMENT PILLS” really works. Pretty funny.

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Top 10 list of sex positions.

1.  Shiza German. (Yeah, its backwards. It’s a reverse German Shiza.  Yep. Meaningless.)

2.  Legendary Doggy Style. It’s Legendary.

3.  Superman That Hoe. (Yes, that’s “Hoe” with an “e”)

4.  Stick It In Her Ear ‘Till She’s Deaf. (Self Explanatory)

5.  Two Cups, One Girl. (Think about it)

6.  Dragon Ball Z. (Kamehameha all over her face)

7.  Borat Style. (Plow her from behind whilst she plows your farm with a plow-Meanwhile you yell “WAH WAH WEE WAH!”)

8.  Lord of the Rings.

9.  The Dick Cheney. (Classic missionary whilst eating a fetus)

10.  2012. (It’s like 69, except it’s your last chance)

I’m gonna go take a Mexican shower. Bye bye.

TheMiserableRanter

PS. EXPLOSIONS ‘N IMPLOSIONS YAY.

Sick and Twisted Magical Pepsi

18 Jan

I’M BACK BICHIZ, and I’m still white.

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I love you bastards, but I also really hate you.

When I die though, don’t write hateful shit on my grave, OK?

And in turn I won’t drive my fucking truck through your front door on the day of your mother’s wake.

Deal?

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Below are 4 REAL GRAVESTONES in Mexico.

The translations are on the right side.


1.


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3.

4.


I’ll admit, I didn’t make these images myself, but they’re still funny.  I doubt they’re real though, I mean…look at those names?

Pancrazio..?  Chinchilla..? Really?

Cut the dead some slack, however cunty they may have been.

Cuntabulously Yours,

TheMiserableRanter

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