Tag Archives: People

Hungry Hobos Make Bad Pancakes

4 Feb

I saw a story on the news once of a woman who locked her  3 kids in her basement and only fed them pancake batter for weeks.

Welcome to my world.  I am the pancake batter.

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Ok seriously, what is the deal with Trojan Fire and Ice condoms?

I don’t want fire OR ice anywhere near my cock.  And to make matters worse the prospect of my penis on fire just shriveled me testes.

Be honest, does this ad make you want to buy this product?

Upon purchasing your item, your hair will morph into Sonic The Hedgehog.

I guess with that super sonic speed you could do some serious boning.

Hmmmmmmmm.

Sorry Trojan, still not sold.

I’d be laughing the whole time at her hair.

Hysterical laughter + libido= Fail.

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“You can take the person out of the cock, but you can’t take the cock out of the person.”

TheMiserableRanter

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Top 10 Sex Positions- Twisted Edition. + Tokyo Breakfast (Classic)

21 Jan

This is a classic

Words to live by:  “If nigguh no go to skewel, nigguh no get a job. If nigguh no get a job, nigguh no make no munny.  If nigguh no make no munny, nigguh cannot afford B M W 7 SERIES NIGGGAAAAAHH!!!”

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“You can’t ever boost a girls confidence, they’ll find a way to screw you in the ass afterwards.”  What kind of evil genius would say such a thing?  Oh yeah, my cousin.

He went onto say “I’m sure Albert Einstein would agree with me- how do you think that loser got married? He really fucked with the girl’s head.  Either that or she was kicked in the head by a horse as a baby.”

Wow.

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A brilliant 6 year old once said-

“I PUT THE WHOLE WORLD IN MY ASS.”

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I really can’t believe how well it works, but spamming “FREE PENIS ENLARGEMENT PILLS” really works. Pretty funny.

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Top 10 list of sex positions.

1.  Shiza German. (Yeah, its backwards. It’s a reverse German Shiza.  Yep. Meaningless.)

2.  Legendary Doggy Style. It’s Legendary.

3.  Superman That Hoe. (Yes, that’s “Hoe” with an “e”)

4.  Stick It In Her Ear ‘Till She’s Deaf. (Self Explanatory)

5.  Two Cups, One Girl. (Think about it)

6.  Dragon Ball Z. (Kamehameha all over her face)

7.  Borat Style. (Plow her from behind whilst she plows your farm with a plow-Meanwhile you yell “WAH WAH WEE WAH!”)

8.  Lord of the Rings.

9.  The Dick Cheney. (Classic missionary whilst eating a fetus)

10.  2012. (It’s like 69, except it’s your last chance)

I’m gonna go take a Mexican shower. Bye bye.

TheMiserableRanter

PS. EXPLOSIONS ‘N IMPLOSIONS YAY.

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