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So, Charlie Sheen Has Lost His Mind…WIN!

7 Mar
Charlie Sheen in March 2009

Image via Wikipedia

He really has lost touch.

You should all watch/listen to this:

Today, Charlie Sheen was finally let go from the hit show Two and a Half Men.

It’s a great show, and I hope they do not try to replace Sheen because it will not work.

But how messed up is Sheen really?

To me, the ultimate test if Sheen is still sane is: if he refers to his terminated contract for Two and a Half Men as a “win“.

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Doesn’t he look kind of like Beavis from Beavis and Butthead though?

Obviously the hair color is different, but aside from that…I’m sure Sheen would admit to being a raging “bunghole” at times…maybe even a “cornholio”.

(All those were legit quotes from Sheen, by the way)

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I mean, the poor guy (scratch that- filthy rich guy*****) does enough coke in one session to kill two and a half Mexicans.

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But no one can deny that the guy is smart.  He has a way with words, even if at times he doesn’t actually mean anything or make any sense.

When he speaks, its almost poetic.

I think his quotes will be remembered for years to come.

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I will leave you with my top 5 favorite Charlie Sheen Quotes:

1. “I am on a drug, it’s called Charlie Sheen (even though he’s a low-life scumbag wife beater) It’s not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

2. “The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them look like droopy-eyed armless children.”

3. “Can’t is the cancer of happening.”

4. “I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars.”

5. “I have a disease? Bullshit. I cured it with my brain.”

Your favorite nutcase,

TheMiserableRanter

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Only Alex Jones Sleeps With 6 Guns…

6 Jan

I had a dream a few days ago that I was giving voice lessons to the girl from iCarly.  She kept showing up drunk over and over again until I awoke.

The next night I had a dream that I was a soldier in World War II, on the Nazi side….wrong on so many levels.

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10-year-old Joseph McVay shot his mother in the back of the head. They were having a heated argument about chores, fetching some firewood.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lubotwlyKCI

If you aren’t already subscribed to TheYoungTurks on youtube, you’re a douchebag.  Great progressive news network.

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It’s this kind of shit that makes you think, “what the fuck is going on?”

6 GUNS WERE FOUND IN THIS KID’S BEDROOM!

What did the older brother say? – They’re a “country family”, good one buddy.

I know I’d be insane to point fingers here (wait for it), but you’ve got to be off your rocker if you buy a gun and think, “Gee, let’s put it up in Joey’s room!”, six times in a fucking row.

I’ve got a theory here.  I don’t know much about the McVay family but I have to ask, what the hell are you trying to protect your family from?  6 guns? in the kid’s room?

You MUST be preparing for war!  Cenk from TheYoungTurks blames it on culture, I blame it on right-wing fuck-faces who preach the ideas of, “you’re either with us or against us”, “you’re either with us or you’re terrorists.”

Don’t you fucks understand how paranoid that makes people?

I am sure there are MANY “country families” out there without dozens of guns in their house…

The ones with more than …say 20..have got to be on the drug that is the right wing propaganda machine.

When you possess enough guns in your house that you can overthrow a small government, you ought to fucking downsize.

But wait! There’s pretty much no government regulation of guns anyway!

The way shit is done in this country is just fucking bizarre.  How much more backwards can we go?

Give me some fuckin’ hope here.  No never mind, I’m addicted to misery.  In fact, I enjoy it.

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On the up side,

New study indicates that women actually feel more productive in the kitchen than they do in the workplace.

Just kidding!  Yeah yeah, get mad.  Hate me enough to keep coming back you sick fucks.

So, there’s this website , http://feralarmy.com where I will be posting to regularly.

You’ll get my more serious side on FeralArmy, but I will try to keep quenching your regular thirst for cocks, cunts, and Barbara Bush’s pet gerbil.

Look, I’m doing the pee-pee dance!

TheMiserableRanter

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