Disemboweled Biker Scum Get MoonRaped

21 Dec

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So I was on my way to the gym TO GET FUCKIN’ JACKED, when I drove by these two bikers.

Ok, fine I admit it, the MoonRaped part was just something I made up. But I really wanted them to get raped by the Moon and the Sunsimultaneously…after all, that shit only happens once every 60 years!

But seriously,  you bikers out there.  I will find you.

I will strip you of all that makes you human;  Your organs.

After I disembowel you rotten fucking bikers, I will then proceed to insert pine cone into your anus.

I’ll then light the pine cone on fire, walk back into my car, and drive away.

As I drove by this fucking inconsiderate TRASH, I raised my arm up and gestured with my hand, “WHAT THE FUCK MAN?  AT LEAST MOVE OVER.”

2 BIKERS TAKING UP A WHOLE LANE on a TWO LANE ROAD. Everyone was forced to maneuver around these assholes.

THE GUY LOOKED BACK AT ME, and SPAT AT ME! AND IT HIT MY CAR!

FUCK HIM!

I hope porcupine crawls into his  mouth while he is sleeping and takes a dump.

And I know what you’re thinking, porcupines aren’t always reliable.

That’s why if the porcupine pussies out, I’ll take it upon myself to shit inside his face.

If I ever see you..you fucking bikers again,

I’ll make sure to throw your fucking children off the Empire motherfucking State Building you spandex-wearing, cum guzzling, don’t give a fuck about anyone else on the road, piece of hamster feces.

Awwhamster feces

What a fucking innocent image, after hearing all that swearing…isn’t it?

Oh but If I’d have said donkey shit, or camel feces, or horse urine, it would have been more vulgar right?

Why is that?  Why do we discriminate between the levels of vulgarity between a hamster’s shit and a horse’s urine?

Surely one is not more guilty than the other…?

….

I’ll save that for another blog posts…

TheMiserableRanter

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